it was already very late when i came to their house that night. we were to settle some business, which served as a convenient excuse to spend time together. he came downstairs after his mom called him, rubbing his eyes, and sleepily reproached me for waking him up from a dream. i smiled and took a seat. i could tell he was glad to see me.

carlo was my closest college buddy, and our friendship has remained strong 'til now. i am very grateful for the way he matches my legendary crankiness with an inexhaustible fountain of patience. he is the ever present rock who anchors my otherwise topsy-turvy life and offers unquestioning support. i recall the time last year when me and my then girlfriend were tinkering with the idea of having a kid (in the far, faaar away future). carlo, god bless him, volunteered himself as a donor without batting an eyelash. i stared at him and curled my eyebrow.

after the primary purpose of my visit had been taken cared of, we made use of the time to catch up over sips of coffee, like old friends do. at one point, he suddenly asked me, "are you happy being single?"

"why, of course!" i said, perhaps a little too quickly. i placed my half-empty glass on the table. "okay... there are times when i get lonesome, too. why do you ask?"

"lately i've been entertaining the thought."

it seemed like a pitch that came out of nowhere - the kind whose presence you only begin to sense when it finally hits you. and all this time i've been envious of him for having what i thought was a smooth-sailing relationship, in contrast to my past turbulent engagement. how strange the world is.

"what about her?"

"my birthday's getting near," he reminded me. his birthday coincided with their anniversary. "this long and until now... i still don't feel... anything."

i was thrown to confusion. what then was the standard when stability and longevity does not always equate to certainty? it made me re-evaluate my own relationship and became thankful that at the very least, i knew what i felt then was real.

"we tried, it's enough... i'd rather stay single for now," he said. "less hassles, more time for myself."

"i don't know how you two were able to keep it going for so long... without the feeling."

"she doesn't demmand much from me. it helped a lot," he said, looking away. "i hope she manages..."

"how odd... me and her... we were so in love, but we always got into arguments and fell apart... i wanted it to last so bad."

"you expected too much from each other," he accused.

"we were too intense, both of us... i think i've learned a lot since then." i looked at carlo - always calm, always in control. "but i'm not you. i can't plunge into anything i'm not passionate about."

"doesn't it get tiring?"

"sometimes. but the madness drives me," i beamed.

he smiled softly. "yup, that's you."

we both nodded in agreement. it was time to fill the empty cups.

~o~o~o~

here's hoping we win an award! *crosses fingers*

tara na, nood tayo! ^_^